mesopelagic:

i am just, a horrid little beast and i am, going to cause a ruckus

melanin-majestic:

treygotguap:

Girls will say they busy and be in their bed relaxin or sleep

Sounds busy to me

radiant-amethyst:

lizawithazed:

i-am-the-lordofthebears:

i-am-the-lordofthebears:

what was the name of the fish my geology teacher called “bad dude” because i put bad dude in my notes and have no idea what the real name is

update: 

this is the bad dude

it’s called dunkleosteus and it’s basically a tank with teeth

that is one bad dude

slam dunkleosteus

thestateonmtv:

Dads be like. I have trauma. I will never talk about or acknowledge this. One day u will come across a picture of my childhood and realize that I have a entire flesh and blood brother still alive who I have never mentioned or acknowledged. Anyway why dont you tell me anything about ur fucking life.

quippishquill:

Strand: *stalked by a satanic cult since childhood, secretly has clairvoyant abilities, has seen shadowy apparitions with his own two eyes, and is the center of a massive conspiracy to bring out the end of the world*

Alex: is the impending demonic apocalypse real

Strand: don’t be a dumbass

iamtheaardvark:

dankmemeuniversity:

These are the best kind of friends to have and the best kind of friends to be

b-obbs:

thefuzzhead:

schmergo:

I don’t like to call Frankenstein’s creation a ‘monster’ because he seems pretty chill, so I just call him Frankenstein’s lil boi

*new yorker accent* yeah, that’s guy’s just Frankie’s kid, what’s it to ya?

“Yeah that’s Frankie’s kid, his pop dont treat ‘im right, neither do most people round here, but he ain’t a bad kid, just in a bad sitiation”

hasan-minhaj:

(Source: twitter.com)

anoteinpink:

who among us has not wanted to stride down a big hallway in a fancy period gown yelling “fuck fuck fuck”

oceansunfire:

anyway brown women invented loving body hair before pseudo-radical white feminists ever did so jot that down babes